1-2 business days after you place your order!
When you place your order, it goes through a series of interconnected tubes called ‘the internet’. This stage takes only a few milliseconds. The hold up begins at the other end of those tubes: our secret warehouse in an undisclosed location (it’s in Florida, shhhh). Secret warehouses have strict labor laws against hiring non-supernatural beings. You can choose unicorns, trolls, yeti, anything magical really. We chose Gnomes because we like their little red hats. Very pointy. Anyway, gnomes will not process anything received after 12pm EST until the very next day because that’s when they take their union-mandated naps in the garden. Fortunately, what they lack in afternoon fortitude they more than make up for in administration of notification emails and you will receive one with a tracking number as soon as your order is shipped, one or two business days later.
We truly believe our products are the best out there, and we fully stand by their quality. If for some reason you don’t feel the same way, email email@example.com. If you are not satisfied, you may return the products within 30 days of delivery. Please reach out to customer support for more information!
Occasionally, a carrier takes one or two business days to register a shipment status which, let’s be honest, can be frustrating. They should look into hiring some gnomes like we did. Cool pointy hats and absolute savages when it comes to paperwork. If your tracking number isn’t updating or working at all, shoot an email to firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll happily look into it.